Barnacles

I have been busy preparing for Mumsie’s memorial service coming up this Saturday. I am busy printing photos for family members. Writing up memories for the minister to include in the service.

It has been a transition from how my life was the last five years. I went from having to fuel my car four times a week to now only once every two weeks. Sometimes I find it hard to believe Mumsie is gone and other times I have no problem remembering.

I was with my mom 24/7 the last five days of her life. It was heart wrenching, comforting and exhausting. I had no idea what to expect though I had read the booklet hospice left for me. The whole experience was all at once very difficult, somewhat peaceful, a relief and traumatic. I find it appalling that we cannot assist someone who wants to die peacefully but we allow ourselves to assist our pets to not suffer at the end. I know it is a controversial subject but when a person makes a decision known through an advanced directive one she be able to assist them better than what we have now. That is just my opinion. It was my choice to stay with my mom at the end. I did not want her to die alone. The assisted living facility cared for me and mom with such love and compassion that I have not felt in a great many years. They fed me, made sure I had snacks and tea to drink. The different caregivers came in to check on me and mom. They always shared memories of mom with me. I had to move mom six weeks prior to her death as her funds had run low. Assisted living facilities are so incredibly expensive that it is heartbreaking. Many people told me how awful it was for me to move my mom to a new place especially with her dementia and Alzheimer’s but I did not have a choice. Moving mom ended up reigniting her mind and energy. The apartment was much smaller than her previous one but it was perfect for her. Room for her bed, dresser, recliner and book case. She loved were the apartment was located-the elevator to the basement and second floor was right outside her door. She kept her door open and everyone waiting for the elevator chatted with her. It was really a neat facility. Much more affordable, the care was wonderful and it was in a neat old Victorian home. And I was able to have meals with her in the facility dining room. I miss the staff at both places as I saw them most every day.

I am enjoying some reading again. I am looking forward to planting some herbs and flowers soon. I have not planted anything in the past three years with the exception of nasturtiums.

Thanks for being here. I appreciate it.