Tension and Change

Cool Sundog

I am stressed and tired today. Sometimes life seems to pile up behind you and you have no choice but to keep going. I am exhausted and need to find a way to relax a little more. I fully embrace being in the moment but today I found myself filled with apprehension over the future. Tomorrow Michael and I have a two hour phone call with the VA. We are also having propane delivered but there is nothing to that. I am still visiting my mom every day as I have been since the last week of August. I drive fifty minutes one way to visit for thirty minutes. I have only missed about five days of not visiting. My mom enjoys the visits and looks forward to them. We sometimes chat the whole time and other times there are long pauses and silence but still being present. I feel like each day with my mom is a gift as her memory is getting a bit fuzzy.

I think I have a mild depression going on as I feel tired all of the time and don’t feel like doing much but watching tv or reading. With the virus hanging over everyone’s heads and with the discord in the nation it can all be too much. Sometimes I wonder when I will open my eyes and realize it is all a dream but alas it is not.

I have much to be grateful for and am luckier than most but today it has been hard to slap on the happy face and the positive attitude. Life is funny and how you thought things may be are not and you just have to roll with it, adapt and change. Life is all about change. My mom and I discuss this a lot. I never thought I would have heart issues and asthma but thankfully I am able to have it controlled with medicine. My mom never thought she would be in assisted living. I am happy and relieved she received her Covid-19 vaccine today with a second shot in a few weeks.

I am grateful and thankful to everyone who visits my blog, takes time to like or comment on a post. It makes me feel quite blessed.