More shorebirds in flooded farm field.

Thank you for the kind words I received after sharing my mom’s memorial service. I really do appreciate it.

It has been almost a month since the service. I have been adjusting fairly well. In my case I believe I had been grieving for a while prior to my mom’s death with the Alzheimer’s. I miss her dearly. I have finished going through her things from her apartment. Now I need to tackle a room in my home where I have thrown everything for the last five years.

I threw everything in there after my stepfather died and the family stayed with me. I had every intention of going through everything after and making it back into a bedroom and a refuge for me. Then it came to the forefront that my mother was needing more care than I had realized. After she fell three times in a day and a hospital stay she went into assisted living. I visited her almost every day. I tried to educate myself on Alzheimer’s and how to communicate with her and help her feel safe. She was an avid reader all her life but as her cognitive functions started declining I found by mistake that she really enjoyed looking at graphic novels-novels that are like a bound comic book. I tried to find ones that I thought would interest her. We always enjoyed reading this day in history. I find myself wanting to call her to share something with her.

I have been taking a lot of classes on caregiving through the VA (veterans administration.) I find some of them frustrating as it is such basic knowledge but it is good that they provide the classes. I also participate in a ptsd caregiver call every week. That has been very helpful. I am the youngest on the call. All the others spouses served during the Vietnam War whereas Michael served during Iraq and Afghanistan times. Nonetheless a lot of the issues caregiving for a spouse or loved one with ptsd resonate no matter when they served.

I have planted two tomatoes plants and three pepper plants as well as nasturtium. I am enjoying it though I did have to cover them up as we had two frosts after the usual last frost date per farmers almanac. Michael is raising moonflowers to create a moonflower wall off our front porch again. He did that five years ago and I loved it. It smelled amazing, the birds loved it as it provided protection for them. I even found a small green snake in the vines one time.

I went to Stomp in Baltimore with one of my best friends last Saturday. It is one of my favorite shows. I saw it twice with my mom. It was slightly different from when I saw it last but still amazing. I loved it and will see it again when it come back in town. My friend enjoyed it and shared with me after she did not know there would be no speaking in the show. I had no even thought about sharing that fact. It never crossed my mind. It was weird driving home over the Chesapeake Bay as it was completely dark south of the bay bridge. Ever since the Key Bridge fell after a ship strike the ships have been diverted to other ports. Usually there are ten to twelve ships docked in the bay waiting for the harbor pilots to take them into port. I had never seen it dark like that.

I have a desk at my bedroom window that looks out onto the woods and the bird feeders set up in the backyard. Today I noticed that chickadees were popping in and out of a bird house I hung up that my mom had at her home. I am excited and hope they raise a family. Currently we have bluebirds, red tailed hawks, great horned owls and foxes all raising families on the property. I think the fox got our free ranging hen who refused to stay inside the coop area or go inside the chicken house each night. She was a character.

I hope everyone is doing well and safe with all the crazy weather around the US and world.