I forgot today was Father’s Day. I remember after my dad died when I was twenty four I thought I would not ever forget it. Thirty years on and I did. My dad was a gregarious outgoing man who also had a quiet side. I miss watching baseball games with him and have fond memories of going to Baltimore Oriole games at Memorial Stadium and Oriole Park at Camden Yards. He also imparted his love of learning and education on us. I remember when we would visit the Smithsonian Air and Space he would always make sure we went into the room that had all sorts of engines-combustion, jet and rocket engines. My younger sister and I never wanted to look at the engines but he insisted. He explained how the engine worked and was pretty thorough. I noticed my mother always sat down and rested while dad was teaching us about engines. I hated it then but have a much deeper appreciation now. He was at every single one of the horse shows that I did over ten years. Time of day was no problem for him. What did affect him was the dust, sander, mold, hay and most everything you can find in a barn. He often stood outside of the barn to watch through the open barn doors. He liked it better when the show rings were outside. While at college I participated in a dressage show and was the second ride of the day at 8:15 in the morning. Even though it was over an hour drive one way he and my mom were there for me. He always encouraged me to read and brought home many books from his job overseeing off set printing. I remember I had a Calvin and Hobbs book six weeks before it hit the stores. He died far too young at age fifty nine. It was sudden and unexpected.

I have packed up four boxes of books for goodwill and two boxes to take to Little Free Libraries around the area. I a getting better at realizing what books I want to keep and read and what ones I had at one time wanted to read but now realize I will not. It has been liberating and is getting easier each time I purge the books.

I have been going through my mom’s cookbooks and am keeping three of them. One of my sister is taking one and my brother in law and his wife are taking a couple more. And finally a cousin is taking the rest. Mom made notes in a lot of the cookbooks. I am looking forward to cooking my mom’s breakfast casserole that she would make around the holidays.

Writing really helps me process through the difficult times. I have been writing a lot lately. I am getting clarity on many things. I naively thought I would have things figured out better at fifty five but alas I was wrong.

Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there.

Namaste.