I have been having a hard time getting the energy lately to tidy my apartment, finish unpacking from my vacation and doing much more than work and when I’m not working I’m reading or taking photos of things that bring me joy. Now I know most people think that keeping a place tidy is not much of a big deal but it is to me and lately I have had a hard time mustering the energy she desire to get it done. I have been enjoying the warm sunny weather that has been present in Maryland. I think my mind is telling me cold weather is good cleaning time. I am hoping that the prospect of a friend meeting me at my apartment on Sunday morning will spur me into action.
I had a difficult time the past month over a situation brought on by another person that could have destroyed me personally and professionally. I had done nothing wrong but was accused of wrongdoing. I found myself in a tough spot of having to defend myself, my integrity and my reputation. I think this hanging over me precipitated me in having little energy to do much more than work. Thankfully after some tense weeks all has settled down.
A Facebook group I am part of is doing a thirty day gratitude challenge. I am not participating at this time as I have found I have changed profoundly since my illness three years ago, it’s recurrence this year and this recent incident. I am grateful every single day and for many things large and small. I think my list would be too long every day. I have struggled deeply and mightily with my illness but I refuse to let it define me. It is a part of me that I acknowledge and accept. I dread its arrival and am always glad to show it to the door. This last time was brief.
I find joy in this blog, the animals I care for, the sky, stars, planets, earth, Maine, my family, music, spring peeper frogs, photography, reading, trees, watching birds fly, hanging out with my neighbor’s cat to watch a meteor shower and so much more. What do you find joy in?
The photos I posted are looking up a tree while out walking a dog-the yellow just lit up the area. The yellow flower made me smile-can you tell I like yellow. It was my Dad’s favorite color, something I did not know until after he died. I wish he had lived longer for me to know more but I am happy for the twenty four years I shared with him. The bottom picture is of a sunrise behind the silos in the center of my town.
Many thanks as always for reading and checking at the blog. I am humbled as ever. Happy Thursday!!
becca's event horizon 
You seem like a very strong lady, Becca, although I’m sure when people tell you that, your thought is, “I don’t feel strong.”
I’m really sorry for all the garbage you are having to deal with. I admire the way you can still find things of beauty to notice in the world, if only for a few brief moments…or at least long enough to take some pictures.
Sending you some good thoughts and energy. Hope you can make use of them.
Thanks for your good thoughts and kind words. I appreciate it. You are right I don’t always strong as you pointed out but I’m working on it. Always good to hear from you!
Like you, Becca, I struggle with chronic illness and it has gotten me down lately and it feels like very hard work to keep working at keeping my head above water. Thanks for your sharing. It is nice to know that I am not alone in that struggle!! You said it so beautifully! I do have to minimize my self expectations and take it a moment at a time sometimes! Hang in there and thank you for this blog! with love, jane
Thanks Jane. I appreciate it. I have been working at getting my energy level up. It’s been an uphill climb. I’ve been enjoying the sunsets and night sky. Tonight with the moon setting early the stars were visible so much better. Jupiter was so very bright when I got out of my car when I arrived home.
I find joy in your photos! Glad you are on the other side of that difficult situation, you sound like you have alot of courage and integrity.
There is so much I find joy in, I try to be thankful each day, like you, I think my list would be so long, and for that I am grateful.
Believe it or not, I find joy in knowing my house is in order, it is peaceful to me. The cleaning I could do without but I sure do love the end result!
Enjoy your weekend!
I love having a tidy home but right now mine looks like a dump truck drove through it. I’m glad you are enjoying my photos. Do you have Aspens near you that change color? I love their yellow!
Yes, Becca, we do have aspens here. That is how we get most of our fall color. We do have maple trees but not alot so when those change they are even more breathtaking because there are not many of them. But up in the mountains there are very large stands of aspen among the evergreens, and on good years, it can be magnificent! So the colors here range from the reds and oranges from the maples, to the yellows of aspens, to the golds of cottonwoods, to the rust and yellows of the bushes and scrub oak. It is so beautiful in the fall!
Sounds great!!!
Thank you becca your a blessibg to me, I wish I lived close to you and could be your immediate friend but nonetheless I consider you a kindred spirit and wish you the very best.
Thanks! I really appreciate your very kind words. I so wish I lived closer to many people who read my blog. It would be great to meet. Thanks for reading and taking time to comment. It means a lot to me.
I sometimes find myself “stuck” and then one of two things happens. I make myself take some form of action just to get started and then get a lot done, or I wait (I know from past experience I can get away with this!) until the spirit moves me to tackle that particular task. The wait can sometimes be weeks–but eventually it gets done. Not a very efficient way to manage a life; however I don’t find myself particularly discouraged by it! One mind-saving tactic is to refrain from getting too involved in social media where everybody is very busy chronicling every last little thing they’ve done, thereby making the rest of us feel like wretched underachievers!
I usually do as you sometimes do and wait as usually I get myself in gear eventually. I finally did get in gear when I wanted to impress someone and to be content with myself. I was happy to be clear of the clutter. And I wasn’t embarrassed when friends stopped by.
Oh that Yellow!! I love it too. I hope things settle down for you a bit. You’ve had a rough couple of months. But it sounds like you handled it all very well. As you do.
Things have settled down. Thanks for the kind words!