I loved the sky this afternoon as I walked around checking off trucks at work. I find my spirits lifting and feel some of my worry leaving. I have been unable to sleep due to worry over work, money and things I want to get done. Mike is great at trying to help me not worry. I tossed and turned in bed this morning until finally going to the living room to watch tv. I try so hard not to worry or be concerned about some things but then my sleep pattern gives me away. I try to be mindful and live in the present but then my
mind races ahead of me in overdrive and the outcomes of scenarios are never good. I get tired of people assuming they know what I worry about, my situation, my political preferences and most of all assuming I like football. I hate it and can’t wait for football season to be over so I can stop hearing about it. I myself love hockey but I don’t post every game on Facebook or expect people to enjoy it. Most people hate hockey. Reasons being they can’t follow the puck, they don’t understand checking, etc. I love hockey I love to play hockey but am well aware most people don’t even know a professional hockey team. My other secret passion is dressage. Which to most people is about as exciting as watching grass grow but I love it-the history, the work the connection with the horse, it all makes my soul sing.
I just hope to find my people again after wading through many months of football season. I have found I have insulated myself from others for months and wish to speak and chat about things that relate to my every day life. I find it exhausting to hear and talk of politics and history every day. I get it and I have thoughts and feelings on it too but I also need to live my life the best way I know how. By writing, taking photos, caring for the animals, loving Mike and being silly.