I was surprised to find myself in such a funk recently. I pride myself on positive thinking, living in the moment and loving to laugh. I think I finally snapped to reality when I realized I had almost stopped writing and taking photos. It had become a chore and an almost dreaded task. I love to write and made time every day to write but when it came to actually putting thought to paper I froze or found other things to do.
I think the downward spiral started just before Thanksgiving. I generally stop pet sitting mid November until January 1 as UPS takes up much of my time and energy during that time. The holidays from Thanksgiving to January 1 are a difficult time for me. My family is spread out across the eastern seaboard and getting together with them is almost impossible due to the fact there is no time off given at UPS for management during that period. I try to enjoy the holiday season but being an introvert and shy at times I find socializing difficult at best. I hate parties and do better in small groups. I was getting off work at night around 11 or 11:30 then have a forty five minute ride home. I found myself focused on getting through the holidays. I was confused when people asked if I’m excited. Excited about what? Your wedding people would answer. I explained I have to get through the holidays first. Most of the summer and fall of 2016 was spent getting Mike well again after his car accident in July. We had the best vacation in October I felt happy and relaxed and often think back to that happy time. I had a health scare in December. I feel that something is wrong with me in that I think everyone else is more excited about the wedding than I am. Trust me I love Mike with all my heart and soul and look forward to being husband and wife but being excited by the wedding is not how I feel at the moment.
I have been trying to figure out the best way to move forward and put creativity back in my life. I have written before than when I cease being creative is when depression tends to set in.
I reached out for advice on how to kick start my writing again. I was told to write through it and remember everyone goes through times of little creativity. I am looking at making some big changes in my life in the next year or so between marriage, possible job change, my health and downsizing my belongings. Perhaps I need to write about the changes as it may help give me clarity and free up my kind again.
Do you take time every day to be creative? Do you have a set time or do you do it when it strikes? Do you have to be indoors or outdoors? Do you stretch your comfort zones-instead of writing do you paint or write poetry? Take photography or sew?
I hope to write more about the journey back to creativity and where I can add creativity in my life to bring more balance.
One thought on “Finding Creativity Again”
Love your honesty Becca…I have been in the same place at about the same time. I blame it on the contentious election and then the holidays and not having the energy for either, along with a very real low vitamin D deficiency and I am making doctor rounds after a long extensive treatment. I do think we then revert to survival modes until we can fill up again. Family reunions take energy too along with being creative, though it is eustress versus distress. It will all come back around as time and energy permit. I am focusing on relaxation and taking time for it. I think it can be restorative for sure. Health needs are real especially as I get older…my body has become like a run down old car…and everything takes time. Your photos are beautiful, as is your writing, but take the pressure off yourself and allow your passions to return, and they will. Thanks again for your testimony! It is good to know that I am not alone! love, jane