Sunset & Thoughts

I have found it difficult to write the past few weeks much less take photos other than the ducks I love in Cambridge MD. My days have been taken up with assisting my mom as she once again navigates being a widow. I have also been preoccupied with helping Michael find balance after a minor set back. I find myself falling asleep as soon as I sit down and am quiet for five minutes. I am still struggling a little bit with human reactions to death, family and my decisions. I was questioned on decisions I made from the time my mom called me to tell me my stepfather was being transported to the hospital. I stand by every one of my decisions but find myself wanting to tell those who questioned me to my face and behind my back to go to hell.

Today was the first day I felt like taking photos again and I started this morning. I took photos as we headed to the town where my mom lives. Michael and I of course stopped to look at my favorite ducks. I am enamored with the whistling call if the widgeons. It brings a smile to my face. We had the birding spot to ourselves this morning-it was 55 degrees and the winds had not started yet. As I write this now the temps are at 25 with windchills in the teens. Tomorrow’s highs are to be 14. Thankfully we did not have any snow. Just plummeting temps and winds.

I took the photos below at the farm tonight. The sunset was lovely and colorful and then the full moon came up. Tonight is a lunar eclipse. I hope to observe it.

I feel as though I have been swimming through jello for the past few weeks and am starting to see clearly again. I have started reading books again and am finally feeling like myself again. I have learned a lot in helping my mom as she navigates this time- the importance of wills, advanced directives, that both people in a relationship know the bills and how much is going out, ids and passwords, household issues and people to call. I have purchased a notebook to start writing down household stuff around our home so if anything ever happens to Michael I will know I can handle it.

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