Life has been in a constant state of flux for a year now. I am getting better at dealing with change and going with the flow. I found in dealing with my mental illness that people are still wary and uncomfortable knowing I have it. Mental illness acceptance has come a long way but still carries a stigma. People are more comfortable with sick days at work for the flu, migraines or any physical ailment but try to call out when struggling in the throes of a bad mental health day and you get chastised, told to get over it or the worst…When others state there is nothing wrong with me.
I knew from early in our relationship that Michael had PTSD. I have observed it and witnessed it’s hold on him. I have heard people doubt that he has it. I am often astounded that people would never think of telling someone with a heart condition or cancer that they don’t have it but think nothing of telling someone dealing with mental health issues that they do not have any problems. I was told recently to get over the struggles I was experiencing trying to be there for Mike, to be strong but at times it can be harrowing to hear what he experienced. I assume others have the same degree of compassion for the suffering we all have in our lives but am shocked when they say hurtful and unhelpful things.
I don’t often speak of my troubles and worries to others and am grateful to my friends who are there for me. I am thankful to be on life’s journey with Mike. He recently started therapy for the PTSD. I can see an amazing transformation already in a short time. He has embarked on a few projects around our home and property. He has big dreams and takes steps towards fulfilling them. One of them has been cutting a trail through the wooded part of our property. It is where he feels at home and safe with nature and wildlife around him.
I hope to write more about our journey with the PTSD. I have found writing though difficult lately has helped as well as photography. I took both photos yesterday at sunset.