The last two days have not been good days. Some symptoms of PTSD have risen to the surface and come out. It is a stressful time for both Michael and myself. It is easy to get caught up in the frustration, anger and emotions. It can be hard to see and find the love in the middle of it all. But glimmers come through in actions and words.
I try not to let it get to me or even what others think about me or Mike or his PTSD. What does get to me is when people actually question if he has it and how did he get it? Do heart attack and cancer patients get asked the same? Is there ever any doubt that they have heart issues or cancer? It infuriates me when people insinuate he does not have it because he seems fine but what they fail to see is the amount of energy it takes mentally and physically to appear fine. Some days are much better than others but sometimes the hyper awareness and hyper vigilance come rapidly to the surface. Some times I have to say things three and four times for Mike to hear me and retain the info. Living in Dover near an air base is helpful as there are many veterans around and many resources available to them to help. The general public also has an awareness of military life and PTSD.
Mental health and mental health issues need to be addressed and not vilified or feared. The stigma is still there. Mental health is important and should be attended to like physical health. Mike is working very hard in therapy on the PTSD and quite honestly is the strongest person and soul I know. After what he endured and lived through it amazes me that he is the kindest most gentle man I know. I love him with all my heart and soul. Sorry for the rant but I needed to vent.