I have always wanted many friends like the poplar kids in school but instead found myself usually having three or four good friends. I like many others found quality over quantity. I am striving to be a better friend. Recently I reconnected with a friend whose friendship sadly I let lapse in the past few years. We have known each other for over twenty years. In the depths of bipolar depression over the years I was often lost in myself and my illusions. I have many flaws and I am definitely a work in progress. Keeping up with others was difficult, tiring and at times overwhelming. My friend however continued to call, write and try to keep in contact.

Since I made my awakening from the depths I purged all things negative-including bad relationships, friendships and thoughts. Even though I had let out friendship lapse badly when Michael and I were married I sent my friend an invitation. Sadly she was unable to attend but we reconnected. I committed to keep in better contact but again life took over and I lost contact with her for almost a year. Then I saw on Facebook she was going through a rough time. I tried calling her and left messages. I finally got through to her via text. She had just been released from the hospital after a major surgery. Since then I have called her every other week. I found I had truly missed her voice, laugh and understanding of me. She is one of the few people in my life who understands living with someone who has ptsd. She actually asked how I was doing and handling it. I text her the day before I call to see if she is up for a call. We usually chat for about an hour each time.

I feel guilty for letting things go but she has never said a word about it or questioned me when I call. She has told me my phone calls help her a lot and I appreciate her honesty with me-she tells me when she is sad, mad or sort of scared with her illness.

Michael and I are planning a trip to see her and her family next spring. She has been asking me for thirteen years to visit but finances, time and fear kept me at home.